Bismillah. Selawat & salam buat junjungan Rasulullah SAW serta kaum kerabat baginda.
Kali ini saya bawakan study case mengenai seorang lelaki yang bernama Theo yang mempunyai masalah perhubungan dengan teman wanitanya yang bernama Tamia serta masalah-masalah lain dengan menggunakan teori Gestalt. Selamat membaca=)
Theo came to the university counseling center after being told by his girlfriend that if he did not seek help, she would end their three year relationship.
Theo is a 22-year-old, tall, African American, male. He is currently in his final year of college at a large university with a major in Math and Computer Science with plans to entering the military after graduation. He was appropriately dressed and had a cooperative attitude. Although he presented himself with a very calm and even-tempered mood, Theo indicated that he felt as if he “was going to explode.” At times he seemed noticeably uncomfortable, but he kept good eye contact throughout the session. As the session progressed, he seemed increasingly more comfortable and relaxed.
Although encouraged to seek help from his girlfriend, Theo seemed open to discussing several concerns he wanted to address in counseling. The most pressing was to better understand his problems controlling his anger and how it was related to various feelings and behaviors. Most recently, Theo became angry with Tamia after she failed to return his phone call and stayed out “partying” all night. He indicated that Tamia claimed she had told him of her plans and that his anger felt controlling and threatening. Theo also expressed concern about his inability to control his anger when dealing with his family and professional relationships.
Theo first noticed his problems with anger when dealing with a middle school teacher who falsely accused him of cheating on a test. He remembers this being the first time he felt what he described as “the rage.” During such instances, he described feeling “helpless” and reported it being the only way to communicate his frustrations. In high school, he also frequently felt angry toward girls. Theo noted he initially thought they wanted to be friends but later realized they were “all using him” to get rides or gifts and were “not interested” in being friends or having a romantic relationship.
Theo also noted having some difficulty being understood and making friends, at one point comparing himself to “The Incredible Hulk” because he was feeling as if he was “losing control.” He also reported that “people just don’t get him.” He reported few “real friends” in high school and only a few since starting college. He reports feeling increasingly misunderstood, ignored, and isolated. He stated, “I wish people would really tried to get to know me.” He discussed that as a tall, Black man, he has also frequently perceived that others find him intimidating and imposing.
Since beginning college Theo has tried to be more sociable, but he expressed feeling anxious towards other people and believes he cannot trust them. These problems of anxiety and trust have surfaced both with other college students and professors. Theo reported that he often has troubling dreams of being at parties where people who he does not know ignore and walk away from him when he attempts to be sociable.
After discussing these issues and becoming more comfortable in the session, Theo disclosed that his girlfriend is also unhappy with his viewing pornography on the Internet. When his girlfriend learned that he had been engaging in this, she told him that if she caught him doing it again, she would break off the relationship. He was reluctant to discuss the details of this behavior, but did indicate that it began after receiving an ex-rated “pop-up ad.” Recently, it has progressed to the point that he sometimes spends several hours a day viewing pornographic material on the Internet. He noted his frustrations with his lack of intimacy with his girlfriend and control issues as possible sources leading to these behaviors.
Theo was raised in a rural Texas town and is the middle child of three boys. At age ten, his parents divorced and his mother relocated Theo and his siblings to a larger metropolitan area. After residing in this area for two years, his parents reconciled and remarried. Theo reported that he did not want his parents to remarry and still believes they should not be together because of the regular arguments about financial issues. He also cited the degree to which Theo’s father travels as a sales representative as a source of stress in their relationship. In commenting on his parents’ relationship, he noted “his parents did lots of yelling and throwing objects at one another.” He noted that his older brother was frequently the one to take care of him and his younger brother and to try to maintain peace in the house.
Theo described growing up in a lower class background as a child and progressing towards middle class standing when his parents remarried and moved into their first house. Both parents completed college at historical Black colleges. Although supportive of Theo going to college, they would have preferred that he went to a historical Black college, especially because most of Theo’s primary and secondary school education took place in primarily white schools. Theo said that even though he chose to go to a different college, he still identifies with his background and being African-American. He chose to attend a predominantly White college because he did not want to follow in his parents’ footsteps, getting away from them and what they represented, namely, “a lot of fighting and yelling.”
Theo maintains monthly contact with his brothers who decided not to attend college. Instead, both joined the military after high school. One brother currently resides in Japan while the other lives in Germany. He describes his relationship with his brothers being similar to the “three musketeers” and said that no matter what, “nothing could tear us apart.” Although Theo indicated that he loves his parents, he also stated that he does not have much respect for them returning to a marriage that “wasn’t good in the first place.” Theo did not comment on his personal relationship with his father, however, indicated that most of his memories about his father have not been positive.
Theo has been seeing Tamia for three years. They met at the campus multicultural center and first noticed her at a church they both attended. He said he was initially drawn to her because she seemed to be equally invested in the same types of campus and national issues as himself. He expressed frustration however that they had not been sexually intimate for the majority of their relationship. After dating for about two years, he indicated that they were intimate on one occasion, the first sexual experience for both of them. Afterwards, Tamia talked with Theo about her feelings of extreme guilt, sadness, disappointment, and regret due to fears of becoming pregnant and how premarital sex was prohibited due to her religious (African Methodist Episcopal) values. He feels conflicted about premarital sex because he feels ready to become sexually active on a regular basis; although he also believes that premarital sex is a sin. Theo also seems to resent that she was the one to make the final decision on the issue and felt he was not heard and his feelings were not considered.
Theo reported that he has tried to find ways to reduce his anger and attempted to be more sociable by working out on a more regular basis. He often plays sports, but he reports that this has provided him little relief. He admits to being at a loss for how to cope with his feelings of anger, particularly when he feels “the rage.” Theo denied drinking frequently as it makes him “lose control” and get into fights.
Theo’s career goal is to join the military after graduation and hopefully join his brothers at one of the locations at which they are stationed. He said he has thought about asking Tamia to marry him, but is concerned that he is not ready given the problems they are currently having. Theo expressed concern about the ways in which his inability to control his anger effectively could influence both his relationship with Tamia and his career goals in the military.
Wallahua'lam.
0 comments:
Post a Comment